Unsure

18 April 2006
"It's done with in Penza. I have officially seen my friends in Penza for the last time (as a missionary). I am going to miss everyone, but at least I have a calm feeling. I have been busy reading and trying to keep myself busy to keep my mind off of what will be in the next couple of days. Right now we are on the train to Samara and will be there tomorrow morning. I have a really weird feeling of unsureness. I know that all will be alright though and will work out. So today we didn't do a whole lot, but did sleep a lot and we got a bunch of pictures developed. We ate with Boster and Olsen in Трио Пицца for one last time. Like I said I slept a bit and got my last things together. We stopped by quickly to see Раиса and then tonight we went to see Вася and his family. I was at my last meeting, and I can't believe it is almost over. Like I said though, I feel peaceful as though everything will be okay. I know that the Lord will help me as I make thing big change back to life again."

Almost Done

17 April 2006
"Today was a very interesting day and I feel so crazy. I don't know, it was just a good and bad day all in one. It was bad because I only have one more day left on my mission - well a few more, but one real working day. Well, we went contacting this morning and that went alright. I only have one more time. We then headed off to собрание округа - that went alright. It was awesome and I had a good time talking about the work and seeing everyone. We ran off and stopped by to see Баба Нина who is doing well. I absolutely love her to death and cried when I said my goodbyes. I feel like I really helped her out and I hope that she will continue to be active. We then went and had a meeting with Шавкат who is doing alright. He complained as usual, but I am going to miss him anyways. I love him. We ended the night on the branch apartment where we had my going away bash. It was awesome and I love the youth here. I am going to see them all tomorrow, but I will miss them. We just sat there and played and I will have some good pictures. We gave Анна Ф a blessing as she asked for it and so that was cool. She has a big test tomorrow and hopefully she will pass it. We are now home and I have a lot of people to talk with. I love this place."

Time Flies

16 April 2006
"It is coming to a close, and I can't believe it. Everything is going way too fast. It was my last Sunday in Russia on my mission. I can't believe it. We went to the meeting this morning I had mixed feeling. i don't know what to think. I had a talk about how we must become something and about the gospel makes us that. The gospel isn't just a part of my life but it is our very selves. Well, it was a pretty good talk and I was sad to say goodbye to everyone. I am going to miss people and I feel a part of the branch. So I will miss everyone here. We came home and we worked on packing - well I did, and I have all my stuff put away. I slept a bit as I was tired. We then headed out to Андре's place where we met with him for a while and had a good time. He is way funny and I like him a lot. It was cool, and then we came home. So, we are getting ready for tomorrow, and it will be crazy. I am super tired, but all is well. I don't feel as though I am leaving and I wish I did. Life is sure interesting right now, and it will be crazy in a few days. Time flies."

Sad

15 April 2006
"What an amazing day. It feels so good to be busy. I had a good time this morning and got my talk all ready for tomorrow. We then went and did contacting as always, so that was good. We then had lunch and ran off to see Изольда. She is doing pretty good and she is in the hospital right now. Well, we chatted, and I am sure going to miss her. We then went back to the center to look at pictures and go to собрание миссионеров. That went well and it was my last one. We chatted for a bit and then we quick like changed before heading to sports. We played for a while in b-ball - in fact over an hour and I was dead tired. Well, we played and then took off. It was sad and I am going to miss sports. It is so awesome to just be able to play. We are now home and getting ready for tomorrow."

Packing

14 April 2006
"Life is pretty good, and I feel a lot better. So we went out contacting this morning and that went pretty well. We had a good time and then we met up with Андрей and I gave him my discs. Well, he walked around with us for a bit before we came home and grabbed a bite to eat. We then did our planning session which was more like me packing and working on my talk while my companion planned. So we then chatted for a bit before heading to service with the other elders which was fun. We cleaned walls in a hospital and washed the floors. It was cool, and there were quite a few people there."

Headache

13 April 2006
"Today was a pretty good day, and I enjoyed it a lot. I had a decent time planning and studying. It was good, and then we went and had contacting. That went well, and as always we enjoyed it. We didn't have much luck, but that is part of life. So we had lunch and I started to think way too much. I thought about life here and about what it will be like. We luckily had service at Раиса's place and she is doing alright. We cleaned things up a lot there and so that is good. She is the funniest grandma that I know and I love her to death. I will miss her. After service we came home and I took my 15 minute power nap. That went pretty cool, and I felt a bit better after that. The best part was that I developed some pictures and so I have several new ones. We were at the scripture class and then молодежный вечер which went okay but there wasn't a ton of people there, so that was sad. My head hurt a bit, but it was all good."

Last P-day

12 April 2006
"Today was a pretty sweet p-day and it was my last one! I can't believe it. I was in a bad mood this morning and so that was no good. One of the main reasons is because the family didn't say a word about me coming home and so I felt really crappy. Just it was weird and right now I have all kinds of feelings that I just can't express and I am very emotional. After we wrote home we went to a few disc stores and that was pretty cool. I bought several discs and got what I wanted. We grabbed some трио Пицца and that was good as always. We came home and I grabbed a few zzz's as I was a bit out of it. I then got my discs all organized and that was way nice. We took off to take some pictures and so now I have several. We had English tonight and that was good. It was my last English night and so that is a little sad. Well, we looked at an apartment for the sisters and found one, and so that is good. Now we are home."

Scary

11 April 2006
"Today was a pretty sweet day other than I was dead tired. So we started the day with a meeting at a members house. We were doing home teaching with Анатолий Смолькин and that went well. So that was alright other than the fact that he repeated the Lord's prayer at the end. Well, I got back with Elder Christensen and we headed to see Раиса who is doing well. She had a good time with us, and I am going to miss seeing her. We then did one of the scariest things that I've done yet on my mission - we bought my train tickets home. It was a really weird and I feel weird. We went and looked at an apartment for sisters who are going to be serving here. We had a meeting then with Баба Нина and that was cool. I enjoyed it, and I love her a ton. She is an awesome lady. Well, then we went to the branch apartment where we had a meeting with Владик. He is doing alright, but needs some help. I love the guy to death and am going to miss him. He is truly awesome. We were then at the branch apartment for a bit before we left. Things are alright there, but I was dead and now I want to sleep. I almost forgot that I gave 2 blessing today and the spirit was very strong. I blessed Сестра Макарова and Люда Герасимова. It was awesome!"

Exchanges

10 April 2006
"Another day gone, and it also just flew by. So this morning we got up and had a good time. We studied and all that good stuff before we went and did our contacting. that went well, and we had a good time even though we didn't have much luck. We headed to собрание округа where I slept for a bit before we started our meeting. The meeting went alright, but nothing all that great. We grabbed a bite to eat before we went on exchanges. I went off with Anand and we headed out to the country to find some former members. We found out they had all moved or else they are против. We came back into the city where we stopped by to the apartment for a minute before we headed to our FHE with the Филипповы. That went fairly well, and I enjoyed it a lot. We chatted forever and I showed them a bunch of pictures from the mission, and all in all, it was a lot of fun. I felt really good there, and I enjoyed it. We are now home and I am headed to bed. Another day ahead of us tomorrow."

Hospital

9 April 2006
"Once again the head was pounding and I wanted to sleep all day - just like I want to right now. So this morning we got up and got all ready to got, so all is good that way. We then went to the meeting where like I said, my head was pounding. Things were all right there. Well, we had a good time relaxing before we went to the hospital with Сестра Макарова. She told me that I had to as my head hurt so much, but as I expected, there wasn't much of anything for them to do. We came home and a had a large meal before we rested which felt really good. We went out to work but nothing worked out. No one was home, and we just walked around and go tall muddy. We had a good time though and now we are home. So, I don't know what to do or what to think. I am going crazy. I just need to relax and to work and all will be good."

Sports

8 April 2006
"Today was a pretty good one and we didn't sit and do too much nothing so that was good. We got out this morning and did some contacting so that was cool. We had a good time that way, and we got several lessons before we came and ate пельмены. We then went out and had a meeting with Баба Женя that actually went well. She is a cool grandma and I like her a lot. We walked with Максим to the branch apartment where we had a good time with the other elders. We had собрание миссионеров and that went pretty well. We ended the night playing sports and that was cool. We had a cool time there and I played hard. I really enjoyed it, but my head hurt after we played b-ball so I sat down for a bit and relaxed. I then chatted with everyone for a bit before we came home. So things are going pretty well, but I am dead tired. Hopefully tomorrow will be better and I can feel good."

Theater

7 April 2006
"Today was a decent day. We had a good time contacting, so that was cool. We got into it fairly well. So then we came home and ate before we had our planning time. That was alright, but it was really hard to focus. It was my last planning session, but all the same we got it done and it went pretty well. We had some extra time so we relaxed and I took a short nap. So today we had culture night that was pretty fun. We went to the theatre and watched a play called "Moscow Spring Break." It was cool and we enjoyed it. We went and ate pizza afterwards that was pretty good but I realized that I don't have much of an appetite anymore. I want to eat but I don't care what we eat. Just need to put something in there, but it doesn't matter what. This morning my comp and I discussed an interesting topic of about how we can become Gods. We read a talk about this from Joseph Smith - the King Follet Discourse. We talked a lot about it, and it was pretty crazy. I don't know how to comprehend it but is is a crazy topic that isn't very clear so we need to be careful with it. Right now I am pretty tired and want to sleep a little bit. Here's for another day!"

Dying

6 April 2006
"I am certainly dieing. It is super hard for me to concentrate on anything at all and I don't know what to do. This morning I didn't get a very good study in because it was so hot. Well, we then went out and did some contacting and that was cool. It didn't really go all that well, but its all good. We came home and ate some pasta that was pretty good. We then chilled for a bit before taking a long walk to a members home who wasn't home and so we chatted with her husband. We then just came home and I slept for a bit as I am super tired. Well, I got up and we went изучение С.П. and that was cool. We had молодежный вечер after that which was alright and we just chilled and had a decent time. I don't know what is wrong with me, but I have lost it today."

Quick One

5 April 2006
"So we didn't do a whole lot this morning - we just cleaned the place up a little bit. So then we went out and wrote home, and that was okay. The family is doing well and they are busy. It will be strange to be going home and not have all my friends so close. Well, we then headed to another big store that didn't have a whole lot of good stuff as we were hoping. We came home before going to eat at a steak house that was good. It was tasty and good to get some real food in me. We headed off to English which went well as we had a lot of students there. We stayed for seminary which is cool. Now we're home."

Dream

4 April 2006
"Today was a pretty sweet day and I feel a little better. I had a good time this morning do service for a lady. We cleaned up her art studio and threw out a lot of trash. She was way happy that we came and we helped her out a ton. We ran quick like home and then we ate our rice and tomato paste. That didn't go down so well, but I guess that all will be alright. So, we then ran off to see Раиса who is also doing alright. She still has little desire but we are trying to help her. We stopped by to a couple of places before coming home and helped the other elders get moved out. We are now here without them. We relaxed a bit before we went to a meeting who is doing alright but I guess President knows something always before it will happen. We then came home and now I am relaxing. I am still not feeling great, but I feel better. That is for sure. So I hope that things will be better tomorrow and that I can start to focus again. I feel like I am in a dream and so hopefully I can get out of that mode. Off to bed!"

Hospital

3 April 2006
"It was the weirdest day of my mission yet. We did really weird things. I felt and feel like I'm in a dream. My head has been pounding most of the day, and I have been super tired. It is hard to concentrate, and so it was a weird day. So today we started by going to the hospital where we were at for several hours. I gave blood, but there was not really much to do. Some of my numbers were way off and so we called several doctors and we went to another hospital where they did more tests. The did an ultrasound and it was weird to get undressed in front of the doctors (removing the shirt) and Sister Макарова. So we came home, had собрание округа, ate, and then ran to our other meeting as my head hurt and I was tired, but it was good to get out. We met with Настя и Люда and that was good. Later we met with the grandmas and Анна Ф was with us. We watched Legacy there with them, and that was fun. We then went to see Вера и Костя Червяковы and that was good too. We talked about pride a lot today and read President Benson's talk - "Beware of Pride." Like I said, my head has been hurting today and I want to just sleep."

Going Crazy

2 April 2006
"I am going crazy. I literally think that I am losing it. I am probably just sick, but I don't know. I took some ibuprofen and hopefully all will be better but I don't know. I almost lost it today at the meeting, and started to cry but luckily I didn't. Сестра Макарова saved me and chatted with me. I think the big thing was that Владик isn't getting baptized on Friday because President Makarov feels that he is not yet ready. I worried way too much about it and so I think that was the big thing. We were at Ward Council today and that was long. We came home, ate and that was basically all. I have rested a bit, but I don't know."

Fool's Day

1 April 2006
"April Fools Day, and no good jokes. There was nothing really that happened that was way funny. We joked around of course with people but no one fell for it. We then had the interview for Владик this morning and all went well. He is ready for baptism and he is excited. So, we then went with the other elders to Трио Пицца - Elder Paulsen was here and so it was cool to see him. We chatted for awhile before setting up a contract for a new apartment for the other elders. We are finally going to have a 2-some again. Well, we then came home and we found out Max that can't go on a mini-mission and that no one has told him yet. Well, we then went to собрание миссионеров and that went alright. There were several people there, and all seems to be going well. We then went off to sports which wasn't as good as usual. It was alright, but just boring as we played only volleyball and soccer. So, we came home and now I am ready to sleep. Things are hard right now. I am worrying way too much about Владик's baptism and I just need to not think about it. Владик is doing well and I think he will be a great member. We are fasting for him and for his baptism so that all went well that way."

Knowledge

31 March 2006
"Another good one passed by today as we didn't have anything planned this morning. We had a good time contacting this morning and then we came home and ate and planned. Planning went well and we should have a good week. After we planned we went to check out another apartment that we are going to rent for the other elders. Its about time they get out of here -its been about a month! We ran over to Андре's place and talked a bit about the 2nd coming. This is sure a deep subject and something that we don't know a lot about. Attaining gospel knowledge is such a joy and there is always so much more to learn. We came to the conclusion that there are some things that just are not to be opened at this time. Well, I also found out that I am down to 190 and it is all because of the rice diet that Elder Christensen likes - we eat rice and a red sauce every day basically. I will be a sick soon. We ended the night at Малышев's place and talked a bit with him about how we need to come to church as the Lord is always preparing ways for it. He has several excused but hopefully he will get back on the right path. I can't believe how time is flying. Goodbye March. What insanity. I love to be busy."

Great

30 March 2006
"Today was a sweet day. We had a good time contacting this morning and we talked with one lady who already called us and wants the Book of Mormon. She should cone on Sunday. We got out and did some service today for the first time in a long time. We went to a school and shoveled snow off the roof. It was pretty fun and it always feels good to help out. My back hurts a little but it is all good. We finished the night off at the branch apartment with the scripture class that went pretty well, and then youth night. That was a lot of fun. We played a lot, and there was a ton of people there."